Ativan please?

Yesterday marked another significant trip to the post office. It wasn't too long ago when I was headed there with my adoption application, but this time was a much bigger deal.

When a birth family decides it's time to pick an adoptive family, their social worker will match what they are looking for with what adoptive families are looking for. The birth family will be given X number of portfolios to browse through and will narrow down their decision from there. Hence, there is a lot riding on having a nice, catching portfolio. Thanks to the talents and skills my older sister beholds, I am very happy with our final product. I of course don't know if a birth family will like it, but it's a pretty good representation of who we are and that's the best we can do.

Yesterday I sent out 9 copies to my social worker, who will then forward them on to the 9 agencies we've decided to work with across the country. Once they arrive at their final destinations, we are live. So I think it's safe to assume that by July 15th The Wait will have officially begun.

While of course I'm over-the-moon excited, I'm also over-the-moon anxious. We have to paint. Get clothes. Get a nuk. Set up the crib. Pick a name. Etc. Etc. Etc.

The part that creates so much anxiety isn't so much all of the above as much as simply not knowing when I need to have it all ready by. We could have a baby before the end of the month. By Thanksgiving. By Christmas. By Valentine's Day. By next Christmas. WHO KNOWS.

How do you prepare for such a serious unknown? You don't sleep. At least that's the very effective route I've been taking....