Top 10 Reasons to Adopt

10) You won't sob hysterically after the baby is born because your raging hormones are insisting that your mom loves her other grandchild more.

9) You will be able to stand up on your own, pain free when your baby needs you for something (additionally, you can leave the inflatable donut in the basement as your "area" will not need protection from any and all sitting surfaces).

8) Your son won't find any additional "Blues Clues" paw prints on your abdomen.

7) You won't have to try to hide the granola bar in your mouth while the nurse tells you how much weight you've gained so far (and you won't have to hear her say "Oh my, you have quite a long way to go" at your first postpartum visit).

6) You won't have to sleep sitting up for several months for fear that if you lay flat you will vomit on yourself and/or your partner.

5) You don't have to make this choice: go through the agony of natural childbirth or get an epidural knowing you could potentially stay paralyzed.

4) You can enjoy hot tubs, roller coasters, water slides, alcohol, caffeine, hay rides, etc. without fear that your baby will be injured or fall out.

3) You can enjoy a full nights sleep right up until you get your baby, rather than getting up to pee literally ten times or more a night.

2) You can buy formula guilt-free.

1) You won't have to pee yourself mid-vomit. At work. Or ever (this, ladies and gents, is really the number one reason).

I could also make a list that would be the "Top 10 Reasons to Have A Biological Child," but this one is much more fun for me at this juncture :)