Now, I'm sure the news that Tina Fey is pregnant again is high on the list of things you care deeply about. Maybe saying you care "deeply" is a bit of an overstatement. Saying I care deeply is an overstatement too, but the news does mean a small something to me.
If you know this blog exists AND you are taking the time to read it, there's a good chance you know that I have a little something called secondary infertility. That just means I got one helluva kid, but he was a helluva fluke and it's unlikely we'll get so lucky again (for the optimists out there, I'm using the word "unlikely" instead "impossible" here). Yes, there is always adoption for when we win the lottery and find ourselves with an extra 25 to 40 grand in our pockets, but in the meantime we're a family of three.
Having an only child is something I've worked very hard over the past few years to accept and be happy about. One fun thing that I always told myself was that celebrities had only children all the time. We were going to be chic and trendy by only having one. I could just see myself walking the streets of New York in my oversized bag, skinny jeans and heels with my one precious boy wearing his long hair and a backpack (very realistic imagery, I know). Look at Sarah Jessica Parker, Katie Holmes, Courtney Cox (Arquette?), Celine Dion, Kate Hudson and Tina Fey! They're all with me! But then boom, boom, boom, adios SJP, Celine, Kate and now Tina. Only Mrs. Cruise and Monica Gellar have stuck by my side on this one.
I know to an outsider this probably seems absurd, ridiculous, silly, etc. to have even thought about this in the first place. I can see your point..it IS all of those things. I'm a little hesitant to even post about this because I don't want to give the impression that I'm actually upset about Tina Fey's growing fetus (admittedly, there was a time when the news may have sent me off the deep end, but THANK GOD those days are behind me). I'm just checking her off the list is all. "Our" club just got a little more elite, and that's how I'm going to see it :)
i love this last paragraph. i just like how you worded it. checking her off the list. elite club etc. made me tilt my head and smile.
ReplyDeletei hope you don't feel judged by anyone who knows and loves you. none of us would ever think that this list of people or even just the thoughts would be absurd or silly. you have every reason to feel any emotion you want about it. i think a lot of us feel SOMETHING towards this topic for you and probably don't know the right thing to say -such as SHIT i wish there was something i could say. i'm not in your shoes and i don't want to be, just to validate that you have every reason to be jealous for other PG people, sympathize but can we really empathize?
i love simon. and your family of 3.
ps i love the picture you painted with your big bag and skinny jeans. you'd probably have a coffee in hand and sunglasses on. i'm sure of it.
Coffee and shades were definitely in the full image :) Thanks for the nice comments tonight! It's nice to know there are people out there who can't necessarily understand, but understand that no matter what is going through my head it's acceptable and okay...
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