Paralyzed

Sometimes when I'm overwhelmed I find myself in a self-induced state of paralysis.

When we first found out that a birth mother was going to be looking at us a month ago, I went on cleaning binge (or at least what could be considered a "binge" for me). I organized, cleaned, scrubbed, etc. I felt motivated to change my daily habits, to turn over a new leaf.

I've actually been able to maintain this for the past month, but I can feel that familiar paralysis creeping into my veins as we get closer and closer to a final decision being made. I feel like I need someone to clap in my face and yell "GET MOVING" before I can do anything too productive. Scratch that, I don't need anyone to clap at me or yell at me. I really just need someone to say, "I'm sorry, she decided to pick another family," or "Congratulations, she picked you" (preferably the latter of course).

Either answer will help me out of this stupor.