Four YEARS Ago

I don't know how this came to be. How could four years have passed already, but the day it all started is so crystal clear in my mind? I guess it's like anything huge that happens...you just remember it. I'm afraid I'm going to forget the details one day, though, so that is why I've been writing about the days leading up to the first look at my son.

Last night, as I mentioned yesterday, Simon had a really hard time going to sleep. Know what finally calmed him down? Telling him an abbreviated version of his birth story for the first time ever. I told him and he listened intently, finally quieting down. When I finished, he asked to hear it again so I told him once more. I love that on the eve of his birthday and after over a half hour of tears and fighting sleep, this story is what ultimately settled him down. I wonder how many more times I will get to tell him before he gets tired of it. Hopefully, not for a long time.

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After I called the doctor around 5am, we started getting ourselves ready to go to the hospital. Getting up and taking a shower was enough activity for my contractions to start coming every 2 minutes and sent Bryan into a panic. He likes to tell anyone who will listen about the "bag" I promised I had packed. It was really a pile of stuff on a chair that was missing several important items; this did not help his state of panic. I was fine, though. I was still just worried I would be sent home and this wasn't actually real labor...it's all I talked about on the way there (in between contractions that I couldn't really talk through).

We got there and I got checked. 4cm. It was happening for real and I didn't have to go back home. I walked to my room, stopping half way there because a contraction came and the nurse kept telling me to breathe. I was thinking, "I am breathing, get me a freaking wheelchair," but I just looked at her and waited until I could really walk again.

I figured that since I was only 4cm after over 6 hours of labor, I had a long time to go.  While it wasn't unbearable, I knew it was only going to get worse so I ordered an epidural right away. By 7am I was numb and napping.

Eventually I got to 10cm and the doctor broke my water (which splashed her street clothes...haha). I started pushing and a few pushes later there he was! Just kidding. It was a lot of pushes later (have you seen this kid's head?). Bryan and the nurse said whatever they could to get me to keep trying and to stay awake (those of you who had to push for a while know what I'm talking about when I say I literally fell asleep between pushes....it's like no exhaustion I've ever felt). I pushed for about an hour an a half or so and finally I got to look at his beautiful face. It looked just like his daddy's, even if the pictures don't really show it:

I was afraid I wasn't going to think he was cute, but it turns out that I thought he was the cutest baby I'd ever laid eyes on. Even if the rest of the world thought he was super unfortunate looking I still thought he was absolutely stunning, just like a mother should. What a relief :) Once he was all cleaned up he looked a little like this:

Now he looks a little like this:

Simon got a transformer from friends and when Bryan finally got it transformed to a car Simon said, "My dad's a genius!"

The kids were playing upstairs at his party and the next thing we knew, the boys were streaking through the house!

That face. It kills me.

Cousin love!

At this point in the night, Clara helped him into one of the dresses she brought with. A 4 year old boy, in a dress, shooting off a pop gun. Sounds about right. At least nobody would ever call this kid boring :)

And TA DA! The lamest cake I've ever made. HA! He wanted a dinosaur cake and I happened to have a mold for it. He also wanted marshmallows on it, so that worked nicely. The candles are supposed to be forming the T-rex arm. The 4 candle is just where Simon put it. His cakes have gotten progressively worse over the years, but he loved it and it tasted good so all was well in the world.

Happy birthday, Simon. I love you more than you will ever know!